


any old time, just call dear

by xladysaya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, KRTSK Fluff Week 2018, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Prompt--playlists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xladysaya/pseuds/xladysaya
Summary: The way his boyfriend expresses his feelings is subtle, like most things about him. Yet, Kuroo loves every small gesture, every song Kei sends him when they can't be together for real.





	any old time, just call dear

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with another fluff week fic. It's sad I haven't been able to do every day but I have one more after this. I'm so grateful for this event, it's amazing to see all the new works for one of the best ships ; ; I hope you enjoy this small fic for the playlists prompt!
> 
> Thanks to [EmeraldWaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldWaves/pseuds/EmeraldWaves) for reading this over!

_Distance is not for the fearful_

_Darling, it is for the bold_

_And in exchange for time with you dear,_

_I will spend more time alone_

_-The Last Bison_

_\--_

When Tsukishima sends him that first email back in high school, it's completely unprompted.

Kuroo is face down in his textbook, as if he can absorb the content for all his finals through touch alone, when his desktop dings with a mail notification. It slices his groan in half, jarring him enough to raise his head and remember he's alive.

His fingers itch, and he squints at the screen.

A dangerous idea.

Normally, Kuroo bans all social media and internet during his study binges. It's the only way he does well, and it's a miracle the computer is even on at all. And besides, if he  _was_  going to risk opening that can of worms, he surely wouldn't waste it on an email.

He tries to tell himself to ignore it; it's probably just an email from another university, or sports magazine subscription. Nothing he needs to concern himself with.

Still, something about it, a thing he later calls the 'will of the universe,' compels him to open up his inbox. His eyes catch the rows of unopened mail, ranging from spam to college newsletters, until they hit the name at the very top.

Definitely not spam, and as he reads, Kuroo feels his hand tighten on his old computer mouse.

 _Tsukishima Kei._  No subject.

He does a double take, then checks three more times for good measure. Yes, that's his boyfriend's name, and his correct email address. Not some scamming bot or prank from his friends.

Kuroo's heart beats once outside his chest before he's a puddle, sliding against his computer chair like he's lost all control of his motor functions.

Those will be on the brain anatomy section of his test, but his grades are, for once, not the most pressing thing to him.

Tsukishima emailed him. Tsukishima, his boyfriend of only a month, who seldom initiates their conversations, emailed him.

Once the realization hits, seeping deep into Kuroo's brain, it's all over. He jolts upright, his face obnoxiously close to the screen. If his grandma walks in, he's getting yelled at for blinding himself for sure. But it's worth it. He's beginning to realize Tsukishima is worth a lot.

His stomach twists in a way he's not used to; the anxiety is overpowering, it runs through his veins and reaches the tips of his toes. It's hard--more like impossible, to sit still. The nervousness tightens all his muscles as he bounces his leg, and he breathes. He needs to breathe before he opens this, for some reason, and maybe later he'll laugh.

Right now, the thrill is too consuming. But it's not making him sweat, it's not accompanied by the dread of going into an exam or driving a car for the first time. These nerves are lined with pure giddiness and exhilaration, his face already warm from a blush Tsukishima will never see.

Wound up, in the best way.

For whatever reason, his mind goes to both the best scenarios and the worst. The possibility Tsukishima genuinely misses him and wants to talk, but doesn't know if Kuroo would appreciate the call, is the best case scenario.

Or well, the best case scenario would be that plus a selfie, but Kuroo has yet to convince Tsukishima to take one for him.

One day.

To put it shortly, Kuroo would die from scenario one, selfie or no selfie. He's been on lockdown all week studying, and Tsukishima hasn't been much better. He misses the blond's snarkiness and quiet 'goodnights' more than he can possibly say, and he's realizing more and more how fucked he really is.

Not that he'd date Tsukishima for shits and giggles, but this is way more than a high school relationship which will run its course. He wants to stay on this road for the rest of his life, as naive and ideal as it sounds. Kuroo has always been a dreamer, no use changing it now.

The amount of adoration he feels makes the separation twice as hard though. It's been a test of his self-control to not completely cave to his emotions and stay up all night talking to his boyfriend like he usually does.

Then, there's scenario two, in which Tsukishima dumps him through email because it's easier. Kuroo's heart tugs a little, just thinking about it. He knows the blond isn't that cruel, but his childhood paranoia will never truly leave him, no matter how confident he becomes.

He refuses to let his negative thoughts get the best of him. He'd asked Tsukishima to have faith in them, so he'd damn well better do the same.

Kuroo holds his next breath, the mental equivalent to cold water to his face, and opens the email.

The rush of suspense he feels is immediately replaced by confusion, and cancels out both scenarios in his mind. Or at least...he thinks so.

Peering at the screen, Kuroo finds the message to be blank except for one attachment. The white space where a message should be hurts his eyes, but at least his heart is intact. He eyes the file curiously, and he tilts his head. Heh, if Tsukishima were there, he'd accuse Kuroo of being too cat-like, too ridiculous.

Kuroo grins; he can practically hear the blond's voice, and it's too close to the real thing for his heart not to lurch. Not enough.

The attachment is the only thing which tells him Tsukishima didn't send this by accident, and Kuroo fills his head with the image of Tsukishima, staring at his laptop and fretting over whether to leave a message. Kuroo chuckles to himself, and can't find the will to mind.

Still, Kuroo tries to find an explanation in the file's name, but is left with none.

_Kuroo--Tuesday._

Today.

Okay, maybe Tsukishima is just being a little shit. It's possible, but as Kuroo opens the link, the theory goes out the window.

Before him is a list of eight songs, many of which he's never heard before. As much as Kuroo likes to seem in the know about things, he doesn't have a lot of time to check out new music. Plus, when he finds a song he really likes, he's content to listen to it a thousand times in a row before he's sick of it. Many of the songs on his study playlist are years old, and the embarrassment over the fact is steadily decreasing as he gets older.

He's open to recommendations though, especially from his boyfriend, who does little else but listen to music from all genres.

"Except country," Tsukishima had once said, looking off into the distance with nothing short of disgust written on his face.

Kuroo had swooned.

He looks over the songs, the artists, and finds most of them to be promising. The questions in his head eat at him though, as they always do, and Tsukishima must know it.

Looking over to his chat with Tsukishima from a few days before, he sees the exact moment Tsukishima's 'available' status changes to offline.

Kuroo grins, too big and too fond, and knows it's better to save his questions for when they're together again. Besides, he wants to see those eyes, Tsukishima's face as he blushes...the smile he thinks Kuroo can't see.

Kuroo looks over to the pile of papers he still needs to go through, and groans. Soon, he thinks. Soon, nothing will be there to keep them apart.

He can dream, though he knows their relationship will stay long distance for a few years at the very least. He wants to be with Tsukishima for as long as possible, but he'll have to work for it. He finds he doesn't mind, not even a little.

Kuroo has faith, more than enough for the both of them.

With their future in mind, he returns to his notes, and starts the playlist.

\--

The second time it happens, it's the night before Tsukishima comes to visit.

Kuroo's shoulders are lighter, free from the stress of exams and last minute assignments. The bags under his eyes have yet to fade completely, but he hopes his boyfriend won't notice. If so, he can hide under the abnormally douchey hat he's wearing, but that might not even work.

Tsukishima is oddly perceptive about these things, Kuroo has learned.

Or maybe it's just where Kuroo is concerned, which makes him twice as giddy. Tsukishima is so considerate of him in the smallest ways, taking into account when Kuroo looks tired or seems upset. The first time Tsukishima asked what was bothering him, Kuroo was shocked.

He works so hard to keep a happy face on, to grin and bear any little struggle or inconvenience. Tsukishima notices in an instant, he sees through even the tiniest crack to get to the root of Kuroo's mood, and tries to deny it just to top things off.

But Kuroo can see through him too, catches the way Tsukishima's eyes linger over every little detail of Kuroo whenever they meet. Tsukishima will duck his head and scowl, and Kuroo won't call him out, but he knows.

Kuroo guesses these playlists are just another piece of proof. Tsukishima thinks about him, cares about him, and he might just cry in this train station over it. He really needs more sleep, but as the speakers above announce the incoming train, he's twice as awake.

The music from the second playlist fills his ears; he hasn't mixed it with the first yet, too content with soaking up the lyrics. This one was labeled  _Kuroo--tomorrow_.

As in,  _tomorrow I'll see you. Tomorrow, we'll be together._

Kuroo shivers, and not from the morning chill. There were only four songs on this playlist, but they're worth so many more. The first playlist was a mix of songs, ranging from upbeat, to love songs, to borderline ridiculous ones, and Kuroo is starting to understand. These are songs Tsukishima not only wants to share, but ones which remind him of Kuroo specifically.

The dorkiness, the confidence, the fact he looks like he strolled out of a juvenile facility trying to seem badass only to trip down the stairs.

When did Tsukishima start to know him so well?

It's only been a little over a month since they've started going out, but Kuroo feels warm, cozy. Established, despite the nerves.

It's what makes the second playlist so awe-inspiring, and upon listening to the lyrics, he'd nearly dug himself an early grave. Even now, the slow, longing notes of the love songs and their meanings hit him right where it hurts. 

Tsukishima likes to say Kuroo is the cheesy one, but now Kuroo doesn't know.

This playlist is so blatantly Tsukishima, only a touch of Kuroo in it. Tsukishima misses him; it's the clear intent, as the yearning carries in the singer's voice. The roughness of the folk-like song makes Kuroo's throat itch, pent up with emotion he has no reason to have yet.

Tsukishima is his for a whole two days, but it's not enough. He knows how fast it'll go by, how much he'll dread every passing hour.

But he has to cherish it, he has to. It'll keep him going, until next time.

The train screeches to a halt, a brief beat of silence which freezes time. Kuroo holds his breath as the door opens, and things resume for the world. People pour out of the doors, looking every direction for their loved ones, their rides.

Kuroo doesn't expect Tsukishima to be at the front of them; the blond is usually not in a rush, the patience carries in each one of his steps. But for Kuroo, he must be willing to make an exception.

The blond is right there, stumbling out of the doors from the push of the crowd, sharp eyes darting to find Kuroo.

Just Kuroo.

The world may have sped up for others, but for Kuroo everything is as slow and quiet as before. Tsukishima is and always will be a sight for sore eyes, a remedy for tense muscles or frowns. Kuroo feels the corners of his lips hike up against his will.

Tsukishima looks about as tired as he does, but no less stunning. The dark rims of his glasses make his eye color jump like fire, and Kuroo wonders if he knows they match the wool knit sweater he has on. Tsukishima looks unfairly good in turtlenecks and dark jeans, and Kuroo has to resist looking down at his own outfit. He'd spent far too much time in the mirror that morning, maybe Tsukishima did the same.

And then, like fireflies to a colorful garden, Tsukishima finds him.

The gaze sparks Kuroo's...everything. His feet move on the one impulse, carrying him closer to the one person he's been dying to see. He can see the moment Tsukishima processes him, looks him up and down without meaning to. It makes Kuroo laugh to himself, and there it is, the blush he adores so much, spreading across porcelain skin.

Then he's there. Thank god he's there.

Tsukishima takes his last step a little too wide, and they're probably too close for comfort, but neither make a move to distance themselves. Kuroo doesn't know if it's boldness or the fact they're both so stubborn, but he's grateful.

The last thing he needs is more distance, and he tries to stop himself from hugging Tsukishima on the spot. The blond's breath fans out, a fog in the space between them, those eyes darting to the ground and back up. His lithe fingers tug at each other, the telltale sign of the nervous excitement which thrums in Kuroo's own chest.

Kuroo doesn't know what to say, so he says the first thing on his mind, the same name which has conquered every thought for the last month.

"Kei," he breathes, and it's reverent, embarrassingly so. It's such a relief to say it to something other than his bedroom wall (he's had to practice, or else his face will burn too much for him to take). Tsukishima's eyes widen, shoulders hiked up, and Kuroo's first instinct is to backpedal. Kuroo never backpedals. His mouth is a bitch like that, it just keeps spewing out whatever it wants with a charming veneer. Only later does he get to apologize for being too...too much.

Honestly, he should know better.

Kuroo dips his head, sheepish. "I'm sorry, is that too soon?"

But if Tsukishima is angry, he's doing a terrible job at showing it. His face softens right before Kuroo's eyes, uncharacteristically open and unhidden by a hand or sleeve. Kuroo savors it as much as he can, because surely Tsukishima will notice eventually, and seal himself away.

"No...it's fine," the blond says, and Kuroo perks up more like a dog this time. Tsukishima is unfairly...cute isn't the right word. Kuroo never has words for him. But the permission means more to both of them than Tsukishima is willing to dwell on. As predicted, he tucks his collar tighter around himself, and deflects.

Kuroo picks his battles, and doesn't point it out. Tsukishima is opening up to him more and more everyday; Kuroo needs to be patient. He can hear his grandma's voice in the back of his head, nagging him for trying to rush everything.

So, he lets Tsukishima steer. The blond grabs the front of Kuroo's cap, a snapback which he knows will do little to actually tame the hair beneath. Tsukishima shakes it, as if testing how it stays on. Kuroo smiles, bright and adoring at Tsukishima's question. "Why are you wearing this stupid hat?"

_Maybe because I knew you'd say something about it._

He tries to look offended, but his grin is a force to be reckoned with. He grabs Tsukishima's hand, an ambush, and loves when the other doesn't pull away. "Hey! Not even two minutes and you're already being mean."

Tsukishima gives him a wry smile, unapologetic. This is familiar territory, banter he can bury his feelings under. "You said you like it when I'm mean."

_You little shit._

He's learning. Learning how weak Kuroo is to the slight tease in his voice, how it'll get him whatever he wants. It's dangerous. It's deadly, and Kuroo falls for it.

"Guess I did," he sighs, since there's no point in denying. No point in fighting. His grip on Tsukishima's hand tightens, and once he's sure the other won't break the hold, he laces their fingers together. Kuroo's voice turns to a whisper as soon as the drops of red bloom on Tsukishima's cheeks, and Kuroo volunteers to say it first. He doesn't think he can help it. "I'm happy you're here."

It sounds pathetic aloud, too small, not even close to how light he feels now. It scares him, to think about how to elaborate. He doesn't know if it's the best time to admit those things, not to himself, and not to Tsukishima.

The people around them gradually spread out and disappear, and Tsukishima breathes in shakily. His eyes narrow, as if cursing the show of emotion, but he doesn't shy away.

"Mm," the blond hums, and as if to offset the non-answer, as if to prove to Kuroo he feels the same, he steps closer. His chest grazes Kuroo's, and their hands probably hurt from the grip at this point, but Kuroo wouldn't dare step away. "Yeah."

If Kuroo thought he was on the cusp of the deep end before, he knows now how wrong he was. He jumped off that edge a long time ago, and continued to fall, deeper into the warm depths below.

The realization is too grand, even for him, and he stops it with a cough. His free hand adjusts his cap uselessly, like it'll help to hide his eyes. But Tsukishima looks up, scanning him like he always does, and Kuroo can't bear to shield himself away.

He laughs, shaky and without the usual heaping scoop of fresh confidence it usually carries, and Tsukishima's small smile speaks for itself. He likes this side of Kuroo, the nervous one who feels like too many people are watching. The Kuroo he tries to hide.

Fitting enough, the next song which drifts through his earbuds is slow and romantic, much like the atmosphere, and Kuroo thinks the notes fit Tsukishima's smile perfectly. He's not sure that really makes sense, but it does to him and that's all that matters. With a pleased grin, he decides he shouldn't be  _too_  nice to the blond. "Thanks for the music by the way."

He watches, amused, as Tsukishima's smile falls into confusion, then into shock, and finally settles on pure mortification.

_Don't tell me you forgot..._

This time, Kuroo doesn't let the blond try to turn and hide his face. Kuroo sweeps him up in his arms so he's stuck there, unable to break away while he sputters.

Okay, 'cute' might not truly encompass all of Kuroo's feelings, but it does work in most cases. Tsukishima is the cutest, plain and simple.

Kuroo smirks. "You've got really good taste, I never would've guessed you liked--"

Hands fly up to cover Kuroo's mouth, like he's about to let loose a string of embarrassing stories from puberty rather than a song list. Tsukishima's blush is like fire at this point, and Kuroo's delight fans the flames.

"Shut it!" The blond pleads, his glare ineffective. "Y-you--it's not that big of a deal. Don't look so happy."

But Kuroo can't follow that order. It's more than a big deal, especially if his hunch is correct...

Kuroo waits, patiently, until Tsukishima's hands drift away from his mouth. Tsukishima is trembling, and not from the cold. Kuroo hates to make him feel like he's being made fun of, like his efforts mean nothing. But he needs the blond to understand, that'll never be the case with Kuroo. He can be as over the top as he wants, and Kuroo will ask for more.

"But I am happy," Kuroo says, soft as he can manage, and hopes his message gets across. He's felt relieved,  _refreshed_ , ever since that first playlist. And if Tsukishima went to the effort of making them, worked up the courage to send them, then..."Aren't you?"

It's impossible to not detect the anxiety there, the insecurity. Because...what if Tsukishima really isn't, and this has all been some elaborate fantasy in Kuroo's mind?

But the lyrics of the love song in his ears, wash those thoughts away. This isn't the work of someone putting in only half their heart.

Tsukishima's hands curl around Kuroo's when they let go of his waist, keeping them there, and it's the answer Kuroo desperately wants. The blond nods, but he lets Kuroo see it clearly, so he knows there's no hesitation.

 _Yes_.

Kuroo refuses to cry in a station, crowded or not, but the question sits on the tip of his tongue, threatening to plunge him into waterworks. "You mean it right, the stuff the songs say..."

_They're personal, right? They mean something..._

Kuroo needs the confirmation; deep down he's just as scared as Tsukishima is. This is all so new to both of them. They're only going to get busier, with school and sports, Kuroo's in college now...

But he can't imagine giving this up, but he wants to know the fight will be returned, in some way.

And Tsukishima, who always seems to see through him, might just be off the deep end too.

"Yeah," the blond whispers, eyes fixed on their hands. "I do."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'll see you all for the 'meet the family' prompt ;)  
> Now, I was going to include the songs I listened to within this fic itself, but trying ended up being too cringe/awkward so I just made a separate link lol. [Check out the playlist here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/si43myb7jufk2z14cmork0pwk/playlist/2VyzGk9PjnYKxBeqmdtxG3?si=ZzP1R2HvSA6e6ZBJJgy6cw)
> 
>  
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/itsloveuasshole)


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